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written by Mark Douglas
directed by Tom Small
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But, I'm with John Stamos now, and I can't just be starting something with you.
But I…But I… I want to be startin' something got to be starting somethin'
I don't want to be starting something.
But I've got to be starting something
Yeah, you've got a few things over me
Your legs work and you can dance
But you're still a minor character
So you won't get in her pants
Don't waste your time
Because the Asian girl is mine
I'm looking at the man in the mirror
Some things a surgeon can't erase
And no make up is gonna make any difference
If you wanna make your world a better place you gotta shave your face and tuck in your schlong. WHOO WHOO
[Very low] NANANANANANANNA
Oh Finn, sometimes I don't even know why you're with me?
I'm with you because…because…you knock me off of my feet now baby [super auto tuned note] WHOOOOOO!
[Cut back to Michael]
Make it stop
He sounds like a dang robot.
[Cut to Kurt getting picked on by football players]
When they say why why, I tell em' that its Human Nature
DUMB FOOTBALL PLAYERS
Cus you're different, and gay?
I like dressing this way!
[Football players hang him up on a hook by his underwear. He sings the high notes]
Hey you, leave him alone
FINN and RACHEL
Leave the gay kid alone
Leave him alone.
Leave my gay son alone
Hey, jerkface! Stop throwing slurpee cups around!
Foiled again by choreography!
[Cut to Sue and Will having an argument]
I've got one question for you, Sue?
Why are you're always tryin' to step on our toes
You've got a sick obsession with your Cheerio's
Well, you dress like Mr. Rogers and you've got a Jew fro, so beat it
No, you beat it.
[Cut to Michael Jackson]
I have to put a stop to this atrocity!
[Michael Jackson suddenly appears on Glee and does his huge signature scream with the wind behind him]
I was resting in peace till I saw something evil going on
I had to come back to stop you dorks from ruining my songs
I plug my ears but nothing can erase the sound you put there
Then came the tears I can't believe my family sold my work. Jermaine is a jerk!
This show is Awful it hurts my head
It makes me want to kill myself but I'm already dead
This show awful I'm so pissed
This is your final warning so please
Stop it! Cease and desist!
So what did we learn this week, kids.
I'd like to sing a song about how this whole experience made me feel.
Go right ahead.
I fell into a burning ring of fire! I went down down down, and the flames went higher.
[Cut to Johnny]